Having an autistic child as a sibling can be both a blessing and a challenge. We have observed autistic children develop very strong bonds with their siblings. They are often each other’s most loyal times because they have been together during both the good and the bad times.
Sibling of autistic child usually turn out to be more accepting of the difference among people and
are often more mature for their age.
Supporting Siblings of Autistic Children
As a parent, you might feel anxious in the beginning. One concern most parents have is that their typical child is being ignored and this may develop a feeling of resentment between both siblings. With the proper support, sibling of autistic child can grow up to feel proud of their parents and their autistic sibling. Here’s how you can support siblings of autistic children:
Involve all siblings
With kids, they often exhibit negative feelings if they feel left out. Explain to him what autism means and how life is different for their sibling. When explaining ASD, come to their level.
This book by Jennifer Moore Millanos is an interesting read. Allow your child to ask questions. Relate the story to your own family. Even if you have to take your autistic child to the doctor or the therapist, take your other child along too.
A child’s mind is very flexible. They often are willing to accept what most adults don’t.
Acknowledge Negative Feelings
If your typical child expresses his anger or frustration at your autistic child, understand that is quite normal. Sibling rivalry is quite common, but when it comes to siblings of autistic children, we often expect them not to show any negative feelings. That’s unfair for the sibling.
If your child exhibits any negative feeling, talk to them about the feeling. Find out why they feel the way they do. Could you help make things better? Sometimes a little talk can go a long way in helping your child understand and accept their feelings.
Get them to spend time together
Parents are often very attached to their autistic child. Leaving them alone for just a few minutes gives them anxiety. What is he doing? Is he going to have another meltdown? Will he be able to cope without me? Plus, your autistic child likely has communication issues and might not be able to interact with his siblings the way you would expect.
Think of activities both of them enjoy. Do these more often. Even if they don’t interact with each other, sharing the fun will help them bond. It will pave the later for a better bond in the future.
Be Fair
It’s often easy to let the autistic child get away with things because ‘he doesn’t understand.’ This might not feel like a big thing in the beginning but can sow the seeds of resentment. Try to be fair as you can. Establish rules. Autistic kids do well with rules.
If your autistic child acts out, vet out the same punishment. This will also help him understand when a certain behavior is not acceptable.
Carve out special time for all children
Siblings of autistic kids often try to take the attention away from them. With the autistic child taking up most of the parent’s time, siblings often don’t put too much importance on their own feelings. This is often later the reason for resentment or any frustration.
To prevent this, take out time for all your children. Give them at least 5-10 minutes of your undivided attention. It doesn’t have to be anything special. Talk about their day. Read a bedtime story. Also, once in a while, try to put your typical child as the center of attention for the most part of the day. Go out to watch a movie. Try out a new skill. You can hire a good babysitter to mind your autistic child. Look for someone who has an autistic sibling.
Set aside regular daily times for your children – it might be a bedtime story or 10 minutes together at the end of each day when you tell your children three positive things they did in the day.
I would love to hear about your experiences with supporting sibling of autistic child. Please join us in our FREE Facebook community to share.
As always, if you have concerns about your child’s development and would like to set up a free consultation to discuss your concerns, please reach out! I would love to help you determine your child’s individual needs. We are here to support you as you help your child blossom!
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