When you hear your child saying a bad word for the first time and it’s not the way you talk at home, you are caught off guard. It could be anything like inappropriate language, swearing words or unsuitable phrases. You start questioning your parenting skills. Where did he learn the word? Did it use it before? Where did I go wrong? And in extreme cases, will he grow up to be abusive?
Please don’t!
The mom guilt is already killing us slowly. We don’t need another worry in an already long one. What we need to do is take action. And this is exactly what I’m going to help you do that with this post. As a parent coach, here’s my response on what to do when your kid says a bad word.
How to respond when your kid says a bad word?
As a child, he is just learning from different sources and if he does something morally wrong then he needs to be guided morally. This respectful guidance from you will be a lesson, he will remember for life. Here’s a list of the responses that will help you deal with your kid in such situations.
Understand the source
At an early age, I think it’s a good idea to monitor your child’s friend. Yes, your child should be allowed to make his own friends, but be present when your child interacts with those friends. If you observe something that doesn’t feel right, then intervene.
For instance, if you see a child leading your child to a secret space or his whispering in his ears rather than talking, then make it clear that you want to hear what they are saying.
I would also suggest you monitor your child’s screen usage. Understand where he learned the word, and try to limit your child’s exposure to that source.
Try not to laugh
This is really important; when you hear your child say a bad word try to control your emotions. There is an urge to laugh along with the child because it does sound amusing. While it is not an appropriate response rather it will encourage the child to use the word more often. He will be happy to see you happy and will try to make you laugh again so try not to laugh or even smile.
Try to ignore
Sometimes kids hear things which they have never heard at home and they do have a feeling that it is inappropriate but they are just learning.
Let me tell you something, kids are loud thinkers. They can’t keep things in their minds. They want to experience and explore everything by trying it out themselves. And it’s a good thing, they are thinking aloud. As parents, this gives great insight into their thoughts.
When they are using a bad word, they may not even intend to use it in their everyday talk but want to say it out loud for once and hear it coming from their mouth and how it feels. The first few times, they are just exploring. Before giving in your patience try to understand why he said that word? What was the situation? Did it just slip out of his mouth? The best response will be to ignore or if necessary a very little response like a little shake of the head.
At the same time, be clear that you don’t like them using the words.
Do not insult
Even as adults we all make mistakes and learn from them but we never want to be insulted on those mistakes. A child has the same self-respect as an adult and it needs to be protected. Try never to yell or shout at a child when he makes mistakes because that is how we all learn.
You need to try and be the role model because eventually, he will follow your footsteps. If you don’t use foul language yourself, your child will quickly realize that it’s not normal. Try to choose your words wisely and pay attention to your tone.
Adopt a respectful tone if you want your child to really listen to you, even when your kid says a bad word.
Discuss
If the child has used the word intentionally then try to discuss his feelings with him. You may ask, what is bothering you? Do you need me for anything? Or is there anything I can do for you?
Try to create a safe space for them with your comfort and warmth. Try to be empathetic with the child and discuss his feelings with a new vocab. Building a relationship with your child is the first giant step towards good parenting. It will not only help him emotionally, psychologically but he will also consider you his role model. You will become his mentor and then your behavior will be reflected in his behavior.
I hope this article will help you to understand the kid when he says something inappropriate. If you notice your child saying a bad word and these responses aren’t helping, I would love to help you determine your child’s individual needs. Please reach out to set up a free consultation. We are here to support you as you help your child blossom!
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