Sleep Training Methods: Which Method is Best For Me?
For many moms, getting their child to sleep through the night seems to be the holy grail to a peaceful, calmer life. When we talk about sleep training, the first thing that pops in most people’s mind is a child crying for an eternity and a half.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Sleep training isn’t about letting your baby go to sleep crying.
Sleep training means training your child to sleep on his own, and getting the mother to enjoy a good night’s sleep too. Even if the child wakes up during the night, he will be able to soothe himself to sleep after he’s been sleep trained.
For this, there are five sleep training methods that you can choose from, depending on your parenting style and your kid.
Why Sleep Training is beneficial?
There’s a lot of controversy around the entire concept of sleep training. You’ll meet with a lot of parents, in real life and mostly on social media, claiming that a baby needs its mother to guide him through everything including sleep.
They especially claim that sleep training affects the bond between the mother and child. Research suggests the opposite. There seem to be no long term side effects of sleep training on a child’s development and attachment.
When it comes to sleep training, the popular belief isn’t entirely true. Parents, who have sleep trained their kids, claim that it is beneficial for both the parent and the child.
- Sleep is important for both the mother and the child. When a child is sleep trained, he adopts better sleep patterns. A good night’s sleep means a happier and relaxed child. A happier, active child will achieve his development milestone more quickly.
- For the mother, sleep training helps her sleep through the night. We all know that a good night’s sleep improves concentration, productivity, metabolism, immune system and in general your mood. A good night’s sleep deals with depression and many health problems.
- Contrary to sleep training myths, sleep training doesn’t affect the mother and child bond. Rather the opposite It helps the mother be happier and more relaxed to cater to her child throughout the day.
When to Start Sleep Training?
You can start sleep training your child as early as his fourth month, or you could delay it for another year. Only you know best when to sleep train your child. You and your child might be ready for sleep training when:
- Your child shows signs of a sleep problem. Children are not supposed to sleep throughout the night. They get up when they are hungry, or they need a diaper change. That’s normal. But if your child is getting up every hour or so, without any reason, it might be time for sleep training.
- Your child’s sleep patterns are going through a change. As your child grows up, his sleeping patterns change. He might start expecting more from you. At this time, your child is developing an understanding of sleep. He might be ready to let you guide him to trying sleeping on his own.
- You are exhausted beyond the limit. If you are going through the rest of the day on auto-pilot because you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks, you might need to consider sleep training.
- You are ready. You have time and patience to deal with sleep training now. The first few months of your child’s life are often a blur for mothers. They are trying to do so much for their child that they don’t have the patience for sleep training. You don’t have to do it now. Delay it until you are ready for it.
- You have support. Getting your partner to help and support you through the process is the key to establishing good sleep patterns for your kids. Talk to your partner about sleep training your child. Discuss which of the sleep training methods will be suitable for you as a family.
Sleep Training Methods
Once you feel your baby is ready for sleep training, you can use any of these sleep training methods to establish good sleeping patterns:
The Ferber Method
Developed by Dr. Richard Ferber, this method of sleep training allows your baby to sleep on his own, with minimal physical contact. You start by going through the usual bedtime routine. Instead, in the end, you don’t put your baby to sleep by rocking him to sleep, or through any physical contact. You put the baby on the bed and leave the room.
You come back at different set time intervals to soothe the baby when he cries. Don’t pick him up or touch him. Try to soothe him through your voice, or with just small pats on the back. You continue this for 2-3 minutes and leave. The time intervals between entering the room will continue to increase with time until the time your baby learns to sleep on his own.
Chair Method
The chair method is quite similar to the Ferber method. In this method, you don’t leave the room. You sit down on a chair beside your baby’s bed. He knows that you are there to soothe him through your voice, but you don’t pick him up or even pat him. With each day, you move the chair further from the bed, until you finally move it out of the room.
This method can be more challenging if your child has figured out how to get off the bed. You might have to try out another method if that happens.
Fading Out Method
This is the gentlest of the sleep training methods out there. In this method, you continue to go through pretty much the same bedtime routine. If you rock your baby to sleep, you can continue rocking him to sleep. However, each day you gradually decrease the time you rock your baby to sleep.
Start by noting down the time it takes for your baby to sleep. If it takes him 15 minutes of rocking to go to sleep, decrease it to 14, then 13 and so on. Continue doing it till the time your baby learns to do the leg work on his own.
Pick up and Put Down Sleep Training
This method is also a relatively calmer technique to sleep train your child. You put your child on his bed. Get him to sleep on his own. When he starts crying, you pick him up, pat him and put him down to sleep. Continue doing this until your child goes to sleep.
When trying out this method, note if this continuous process of picking up and putting down is stimulating your child. If it is, you should move towards a different technique.
Cry It Out Method
Of all the sleep training methods, this one is considered to be the most extreme one. But it promises sleep training quicker than the rest of the techniques. You put your child to sleep and leave the room. You don’t return, even if he cries. He might continue crying for the next few hours before he finally goes to sleep.
In this method, parents have to practice a lot of restraint. If you go back to check on your child, you set the idea that you will come running if he cries the next time. You simply stay out of the room. Lock the room and throw the key if you have to. That’s why this sleep training method isn’t for everyone.
When selecting any of these sleep training methods, choose one that you feel would work best for your family. Parents have had success with all of these sleep training methods, so there’s no sleep training technique better than the other.
Where to Start
Once you choose a sleep training method that resonates with you, the next step would be to establish a good night time routine with your kid.
When establishing a good nighttime routine, you need to repeat the same steps every night. Here’s a rough sleep routine timetable:
Start with choosing a bed time. The ideal bed time will help you put your child to bed with minimum fuss. If you put your child too early to sleep, you might be putting down a child who is still active and is not ready to sleep. If you put off the bed time for late, you might be dealing with an exhausted, over-stimulated child. Here’s an easy reference chart for what’s good bedtime for your child according to their age:
| Age | Bed Time |
| New Born | Depends on baby’s cues |
| 1-4 Months | 8-11 pm |
| 4-8 months | 6- 7.30 pm |
| 8-15 months | 6-7 pm |
| 15 mo – 3 years | 6 – 8 pm |
| 3 – 5 years | 7 – 8:30 pm |
Note: If your child sleeps earlier or later than the recommended bed time, don’t enforce new bedtime out of the blue. Take baby steps. Start bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier/later every week. Keep doing this until you reach the right bed time.
The next step is to establish a night time routine. Here’s our sleep time routine printable to help you keep track of all the steps. Print it out and hang it near your baby’s bed.
Some More Tips:
You can also try out these tips and tricks to improve your child’s sleeping routine:
- Dim the lights. Light can serve as a very strong cue to getting your child’s brain to accept that it is time for sleep. Invest in black-out curtains. Get a lamp. Choose one with your child’s favorite character.
- Try infant massage. Kids love massage. Firstly, it will get them into bed. Secondly, it will calm them enough to go to sleep easily.
- Lower your voice. Start talking in whispers as night approaches. This serves to calm them to down.
- Avoid sugars 2-3 hours before bedtime. Sugar spikes energy levels, which can be the worst ingredient for a peaceful bedtime routine. The same goes for screen time.
- Don’t let your child stall bedtime. Kids simply don’t want to sleep. They are busy experiencing the world around themselves. Sleep meaning putting off this task. They don’t want to do that. They will try to stall bedtime as much as they can. Establish firm rules from the beginning.
Remember, whichever decision you make with your child when it comes to sleep training is the best one. You know what’s best for you and your child.
I hope that some of these activities are helpful to you! Please join us in our FREE Facebook community to share if you tried any of them. As always, if you have concerns about your child’s development and would like to set up a free consultation to discuss your concerns, please reach out! I would love to help you determine your child’s individual needs. We are here to support you as you help your child blossom!
If you enjoyed reading 5 Sleep Training Methods + Helpful Tips, you might also enjoy reading:
Help Your Child Get Dressed (Without a Fight)
Yoga For Kids: Benefits and Poses
