A child when born has the highest self-esteem any creation can ever achieve. Look at the way he learns to crawl, walk and then run. It requires a lot of confidence in yourself to take the first step. And kids do it!
But sometimes, their surroundings (sometimes consciously and many times, unconsciously) make the child lose that self-esteem and confidence little by little. A child explores everything and anything that he lays his hands on but we stop him from doing that either because it’s too unsafe for him or it’s not for the kids to explore, destroying his self-esteem.
Why Build Self Esteem in Kids
A child with high self-esteem has a lot of character. He doesn’t lose hope easily, thinks good about himself and believes in himself. High self-esteem helps the kids to handle their problems with ease and feel confident about their decisions. They are not easily let down and have their own sense of right and wrong.
How to Build Self Esteem in Kids
Some tips that could really help build that self-esteem back are:
Step back
As our child’s primary caregiver, it becomes second nature to help our child with the tiniest obstacle they face.
You as a parent need to take a step back from the child. Let him solve his problems and make his own decisions. Try to be less protective and possessive for the child as this will make him think on his own which will build up his self-esteem. Help him out, but learn to understand which battles he learns to fight on his own.
Praise wisely
Too much praise erodes the child’s ability to work hard. He thinks he is already doing a fantastic job and does not need to improve. Also, your child knows when he is not doing a good job, and when you still praise him, you make your praise feel shallow. It loses its importance and a little of your child’s trust in you.
True confidence comes from trying, failing then trying again and at some point finally succeeding and gaining the confidence that he did it all by himself. By praising too much you are lowering the bar for your kid. Even if he fails at something you can go by saying, “I know you were not able to put your best in this project, maybe today is not your best day”.
Some other praises you can give your child throughout the day:
Avoid harsh criticism
This is to be taken seriously. Harsh words and tones are really de-motivating for the child and he loses his confidence. You need to be patient with your child and correct him with respect.
Taking risks
This is crucial for the child to develop a sense of responsibility. You need to try and not interfere 90 percent of the time when a child is about to do something which he will not be able to handle. Let him take the risk. This will make him accountable for his actions.
When Oliver was about 3, he took a jug of water and tried to pour himself a glass of water, I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it, but I let him take the risk. The water spilled, but then he immediately ran to the kitchen and brought a table cloth to wipe off the spill. He took responsibility and solved the problem.
House help
Let them help around the house when they show even the slightest of interest. Try not to stop them from helping. This will make them feel useful and build up their self-esteem. There is an urge to show that they are competent and you can help them fulfill it.
If your child is showing interest in cooking, try out these age-appropriate cooking skills to build his confidence.
Don’t overthink
Many parents think that failure will hurt their kid’s self-esteem. Well, it does not work that way rather failing helps build self-esteem.
Unconditional love
Try to bond with your kid. Love her unconditionally whether she has failed a subject or made a bad decision, no matter what you need to respect and love her without a reason.
Pursue Interests
Another way to boost your child’s self-esteem is to let them pursue their interests. Let him work on the activities of his interest and the accomplishment they will feel at the end will really boost up their confidence.
Role model
Last but not the least, for every child, his parents are his role model, and for that, you need to work on yourself. You need to be positive on the outlook of life. Even if it’s a bad day for you, keep smiling and go about as cheerfully as you can. Laughing on the silliest mistake will make him smile and remain happy.
I hope this article will help you build self esteem in your kids. If you notice your child has a low confidence level and these strategies aren’t helping, I would love to help you determine your child’s individual needs. Please reach out to set up a free consultation. We are here to support you as you help your child blossom!
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If you enjoyed reading Nine ways to build Self-esteem in kids, you might also enjoy reading:
9 Confidence Building Activities for Kids
Positive Parenting: How to be a happy parent.
